Our Operators Are Standing By

One bad thing about depending on MLB.tv for my Yankees “fix” is that it sometimes forces me to watch feeds of opposing networks. Normally I get the YES feed, but at times (especially logging onto the site internationally) I’m stuck with other networks, whose broadcasters make me miss the ramblings of Michael Kay.
Yesterday’s game was being broadcast on FSN Pittsburgh. 
It’s a stretch to call what went on yesterday “broadcasting a game”. It was a Pirates’ Telethon. I didn’t think it was possible to advertise season tickets as much as they were advertised throughout the game. I understand that the Pirates are rarely televised nationally, and I appreciate the fact that they’re desperate to sell tickets, but yesterday was over the top. I almost called the ticket hotline from Dubai, to buy season tickets that I won’t use, just so they’d shut up. It was insane.
It wasn’t the typical casual mention of ticket sales once every couple of innings, in between batters. It wasn’t just a few graphics appearing to advertise the tickets. The play-by-play broadcasters were continuously talking about the different ticket plans, taking a break every once in a while to call out a play on the field. It was a telethon. They weren’t broadcasting the game “play-by-play”, they were broadcasting the sales “ticket-by-ticket”. We saw the offices inside PNC Park in Pittsburgh more than we saw the game being played in Florida. I saw more employees waiting for phone calls to sell tickets than I saw players!
By the 4th inning, I was expecting Bono to come out and sing. 
I suppose it was a good thing that we didn’t see much of the game for 3 hours, because our Yankees kept giving up home run after home run. It was a Pirates’ home run derby in Florida yesterday. I guess that helped them sell a few more season tickets. The Yankees ended up losing 10-5 to the Pirates. I’m almost glad I was watching a Pirates’ Telethon instead of the game.
Normally I watch these spring training games because I’m obsessed with baseball, and because I like to watch our players and learn about their development in the weeks leading up to the season. I saw none of that yesterday. I did, however, learn a few valuable things:
  1. Season ticket plans for the Pittsburgh Pirates are very flexible. If you buy season tickets, and you can’t make it to one of the games throughout the season, you can call in and they will exchange your tickets for tickets to another game. You get a Clemente jersey just for calling, I think.
  2. Season ticket plans start at $399. $399 for all 81 home games. No, I didn’t forget to add a zero at the end of that figure, it really is $399. How crazy is that? If I lived anywhere near Pittsburgh I would buy season tickets for the Pirates’ games, even as a Yankees fan. Why not? PNC Park is a beautiful stadium, and it’s $399! That’s roughly the price of decent seats at Yankee Stadium for one game. At PNC Park, $399 can get you season tickets. My God. $399. I’ve spent more than that on hot dogs and beer at Yankee Stadium. 
  3. FSNP broadcasters thank season ticket holders individually on air. They stretch them out throughout the game. So that’s one season ticket holder per inning. They also seem to work on commission. They get paid for every time they say “season tickets”.

I don’t remember much else from the game. I remember that CC’s command of his pitches looked better and, according to one of the broadcasters, Sabathia’s tailor sucks because those pants he’s wearing are the size of a circus tent. “You can fit three guys in there!” 

I also remember that Jonathan Albaladejo confirmed his spot in AAA by giving up 87456720 home runs, and that Lastings Milledge doesn’t seem to understand the art of base-running. Other than that, I don’t remember much baseball from yesterday.
I do, however, remember the number to the Pirates’ ticket hotline: 1-800-PLEASE-CALL. Our operators are standing by!

You can find Beeeebzy’s blog entries and more at 161st-and-River.com

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