2010 Pretty In Pinstripes Challenge Tracker: Entry #1 – 4/4/10 Yankees @ Red Sox
We lost to the Red Sox on Opening Day. That means we’re definitely going to end up with a losing record this season. Based on what I saw in the game, we’ll have a .450 season. There is no more hope for our Yankees, we might as well not play the remaining 161 games.
CC Sabathia gave up 4 runs. He’s definitely going to suck this year, and he’ll get demoted to the fifth spot in the rotation. In fact, we should probably trade him. He obviously doesn’t have what it takes to be our ace, look at how shaky he was at the end of his outing yesterday. He couldn’t even pitch a complete game! I’m telling you, my friends, there is no hope for CC to recover from this loss. No light at the end of his tunnel. If we get rid of him now, we might have a chance to get something valuable in return.
Also, we need to get rid of Gardner. I don’t care if this was his first time playing in left field, and I don’t care if he only found out that he was playing left field a few days ago. So what? That one throw to home plate shows that he will never have what it takes to be a starting left fielder. He stinks. I can’t believe he’s even a Yankee. We need to trade him now.
Chan Ho Park is horrible, too. What was Cashman thinking when he signed him?
We’re wasting a W-H-O-P-P-I-N-G $1.2 million, and $300 thousand in incentives, on this loser? We don’t have money to waste, people. Look at how we released Chad Gaudin, it was because his salary broke the bank. Park cost us way too much money for him to have such a horrible first inning as a Yankee. We need to release him now. I don’t care if this was his first game at Fenway Park, I don’t care if he was facing some of the stronger hitters in the division. There is no hope for him. He must be released.
Don’t even get me started on Joe Girardi. He needs to be fired right this instant. Leaving Sabathia in when he began to struggle in the first game of the season? Unforgivable. So what if the manager and coaches need to find out what works in the first few games of the season? That’s no excuse for making a season-ending mistake like that. Girardi needs to be fired today.
How about Marte? It’s nice to see that he will never amount to anything, ever. He is doomed to repeat his regular-season performance from last year. Your first inning in the season is the make or break inning. If you mess up, you’re done for the year. No second chances, no make-up games, it’s immediately “off with your head”. Marte’s got to go.
Let’s not forget to mention Joba. Oh boy, what a mess Joba is. He can’t pitch at all, and he’ll never pitch a decent inning after yesterday’s performance. Yesterday was proof that Joba is a total bust. He sucks as a starter, he sucks as a reliever, so he shouldn’t be a Yankee. We should have traded him immediately after the 2008 season. He doesn’t deserve to wear pinstripes.
We need to trade him now.
Nick Swisher is yet another disaster in our outfield. My God, he’s horrible. He allowed one ball, Youkilis’ hit, to roll all the way to the wall! That sort of thing is unacceptable. Swisher can never allow something like that to happen. Since he did, he’s looking at a failure of a season. We need to get rid of him, he’s not a real Yankee anyway
How about Cano’s base-running yesterday? Remember his one hit that should have been a double, but Cano misread it and it ended up being a single? He needs to get sent down to the minors for the first half of the season to work on his base-running. That mistake last night is proof that Robinson Cano is one of the most overrated players in Major League Baseball.
Don’t even mention Posada to me. Sure he had a great game offensively, but defensively? That one wild pitch he couldn’t catch or block is proof that Jorge Posada has completely lost his defensive skills. I think it’s about time he retired, or just stayed on the bench for the majority of the season, like Jason Varitek. Cervelli should be our regular catcher, because Posada obviously can’t catch anymore. He’s too old. He needs to stay off the field.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that the world is coming to an end, my friends. Our Yankees are doomed. We have no hope for winning the division or making it to the playoffs. Our season is over in the beginning of April!
The Yankees will finish in the bottom of the division, thanks to last night’s performance. There is no hope for us. The remaining 161 games don’t matter, because the one and only important game in the season has already been lost. We can’t get this game back, so we’re doomed.
Oh well, there’s always next year…
Wouldn’t it be funny if I reacted like that after yesterday’s game?
Seriously, who would throw their players under a bus after losing the first game of the season?
A LARGE CHUNK OF YANKEES FANS, that’s who.
I couldn’t believe the reactions I was seeing to yesterday’s game. People were acting like it was the end of the world! Everything I wrote above was said by Yankees fans. Every single thing. Of course, I embellished a bit, worded it a little more eloquently, and removed all profanity, but these were the thoughts of many Yankees fans yesterday.
Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.
Thank you, my fellow Yankees fans, for once again proving to the world that we are the most spoiled fans in Major League Baseball.
If your reaction to yesterday’s loss was in any way similar to what I wrote above, you need to be b*tchslapped back into reality.
The reality is that it’s just one game, we’re never going to have a 162-0 record, and it was only Opening Night. Luckily, the fate of our Yankees doesn’t depend on the opening game or series. Judging by a large percentage of the reactions yesterday, you would think the Yankees lost Game 5 of the ALDS.
Have we forgotten that we went 0-8 and got swept in our first 3 series against the Red Sox last year? We ended up doing pretty damn well on the year, if I remember correctly. Did we forget that the Yankees have been known to have slow Aprils? It usually works out well for us in the end.
Get a grip, people. Take a Xanax pill and relax. We have 6 more months of baseball. Pace yourselves.