Simply Philthy

2010 Pretty In Pinstripes Challenge Tracker: Entry #14 – 4/21/10 – Yankees @ Athletics

We’re getting spoiled this April. The second game of the series against the Athletics had another Yankee no-hit bid taken into the eighth inning. This time, it was Phil Hughes looking to get the first no-hitter of his career.
The usual superstitions appeared, and we refused to mention the phenomenon we were witnessing while it was happening.
Once again, we were robbed of witnessing magic in the eighth inning, when the Athletics got a clumsy hit off of Phil Hughes. Were we disappointed? Yes, we were, but it was mostly disappointment for Hughes. With the way he pitched, efficiently keeping his pitch-count down, he deserved a no-hitter. This is the second time in Phil Hughes’ short career that he’s had a serious no-hit bid. Luckily, this one didn’t end badly like the first one.
In his second start of the season, Phil Hughes continued what he began in his first outing, and that is to prove that Joe Girardi made the right decision by naming him our fifth starter. Phil’s fastball and cutter were unbelievable, and he seasoned his outing with curveballs here and there. 
Hughes was working hard for a no-hitter, but ended up with 7.1 innings of shutout baseball, with the run given up by Joba Chamberlain being attributed to Phil. He struck out ten batters (a career high), walked two, and got a second win to take his record up to 2-0. 
Also, it’s worth mentioning that Phil Hughes’ win gave us our fifth series win of the season. Yes, we’ve only played five series. The last time we won our first five series of the season was in 1926, and that’s our club record. I don’t want to jinx it, so I won’t say anything else about it.
I can summarize Phil Hughes’ start with two words: Simply Philthy.
In honor of Phil Hughes’ brilliant start, I’ve decided to give you some facts you may have not known about him. I’ve already given you facts about Brett Gardner, and chances are I will give you facts about several other players throughout the season. 
Facts About Phil Hughes

  1. When Phil Hughes pitches, planet Earth stops rotating. If it keeps moving, it’ll strike out.
  2. Chuck Norris came up with his roundhouse kick while trying to hit a Phil Hughes pitch. That time, he hit nothing but air.
  3. With Hughes on the mound, there is no “hitter’s count”. Every count is Phil’s count.
  4. Phil Hughes can strike out a revolving door.
  5. Physics text books will include a new law of gravity: A strike zone will always pull a Phil Hughes pitch.
  6. Phil Hughes can strike out a wall.
  7. Joba who? (I kid, I kid.)
  8. Al Gore and Brett Gardner were wrong, Phil Hughes’ pitching is the number one cause of Global Warming.
  9. There are less people fooled by April Fools’ Day pranks, than opposing batters fooled by Phil Hughes’ pitches.
  10. Mathematicians have finally defined “Infinity” as “the number of strikeouts Phil Hughes has in his starts”.
  11. How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? Less than the at-bats it takes to get a hit off of Phil Hughes.
  12. Phil Hughes doesn’t sweat. That moisture you see on his face is Pimp Juice.
  13. 99.99% of American males put themselves to sleep at night, by imagining hitting a home run off of Phil Hughes. The remaining 0.01% have never seen a baseball.
  14. Phil Hughes can impregnate a woman by just looking at her.
  15. Sorry, Straight Line, but the most efficient way from Point A to Point B is a Phil Hughes pitch.
  16. Phil Hughes can get 27 outs with a pitch-count of 10.
  17. Phil Hughes’ pitches don’t find the strike zone. The strike zone finds Phil Hughes’ pitches.
  18. Opposing Batters: If at first you don’t succeed, Phil Hughes will make sure that you never do.
  19. Phil Hughes’ cutter can out-bite a shark.
  20. One day, a batter will hit a Grand Slam off of Phil Hughes. That batter will be God, and Phil Hughes will give it up as a favor.

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