Tagged: Chan Ho Park

Roasted

2010 Pretty In Pinstripes Challenge Tracker: Entry #41 – 5/20/10 – Rays @ Yankees



Box Score:

rays@yankees2.png






Well, the week from Hell is over. Well, almost over. We’ll make it out alive. Not exactly sane, but we’ll still be breathing.
I’m not talking about the Yankees, of course. They’ll definitely be alive. The Yankees are in a good place. 25-16 is a good record to have in May.
I’m talking about Yankees fans. 
Show of hands, how many of you have ulcers after this week? *raises hand*
Now, how many of you have ulcers that developed their own ulcers because of this week? *raises hand*

We knew ahead of time that this week was going to be the most difficult week yet. We faced two of our division rivals. First, the Red Sox, who magically seem to find their strengths against us. Then, the Tampa Bay Rays, who are hotter than hot right now. I was nervous going into this week. I honestly expected us to sweep the Red Sox, and get swept by the Rays. Well, I was half-right.
Anyway, what an emotionally exhausting week. Oh but
it’s not over! We face our inner-city rivals next! If we don’t beat the Mets, I’ll have to beat something. Probably to a bloody pulp. 

*Meet the Mess. Meet the Mets. Step right up and beat the Mets!*
Listen, I’m the Queen of Cool and Calm when looking at the big picture. I don’t panic until our elimination number is in the single digits, and we’re on a losing streak in September. So don’t worry, I’m looking at the big picture here. 
We’ve been suffering through a lot of injuries, and our bench is pretty much depleted. We called up Chad Moeller to be our backup catcher while Posada is out. Basically, Chad Moeller will be warming the bench for the vast majority of the next month. Nick Swisher is back, so at least we won’t have to suffer through Marcus Thames in right field anymore.
I wonder how Marcus “Dumb*ss Of The Year” Thames is doing? *Who gets hurt like that? Really? Who does that?!*
While I do see, and appreciate, the big picture, weeks like this week hurt. It’s not easy to endure losses like these, as a fan.
You know what? I’m not going to write about this game. I’m sick of repeating the same thing I’ve said about every other game this week… 
It’s only May. *blah blah blah* He was due for a bad start. *blah blah* We knew he wouldn’t win every game this season. *blah* Randy [expletive] Winn *blah blah* These injuries are killing us *BLAH*



What’s the point of repeating myself? You’ve heard it all before, so why should I say it again? Do I really need to recap this game for you? Look at the damn boxscore, it says it all.
We failed once again, boys and girls. I usually try to find excuses for our players sucking in a game, and these excuses are usually legitimate. I just believe in giving your players the benefit of the doubt. Especially the team that we have this year. You know what, though? They’ve already given me enough ulcers to warrant some sort of negative reaction from me.
So, in this post, I will step out of character for a bit, and just make fun of every player who played in this game. I will roast them one by one. Just talk trash to them. That should make me feel better.
Before I begin, let me make it very clear that NONE OF THIS is to be taken seriously. I love our players, and I love our team. This is just a way for me to let my frustration out.
Roasted nuts, anyone?

Andy Pettitte: I used to say “Andy can Pettitte”, but the only thing you should be petting is your toupee at the retirement home. Way to show us you’re not aging, grandpa. Stop hitting me with your cane! I’m getting off of your stupid lawn! Tell your Bridge partner Jamie Moyer to stop shouting at me, I’m not stealing his paper!
Derek Jeter: Captain Clutch? Yeah, not so much. If Minka isn’t clutching it right, give Kate Hudson a call. I hear she’s available. Do it soon before Dallas Braden calls her, and she dies of laughter.
Brett Gardner: You used to remind me of Speedy Gonzales. Now, you’re like that mouse who drew the short straw to decide on who should run in front of the cat, to get to the cheese factory. Like the mouse with the short straw, you got caught. 
Mark Teixeira: Your haircut doesn’t make you look like a switch-hitter, it makes you look like you flat-out bat for the other team. Those bangs must be getting in your eyes, because you can’t seem to tell the difference between a ball and a strike anymore. Call Fabio, or whoever the Hell your San Fransisco-esque hairdresser is, and tell him that Papelbon came onto you after the Red Sox game, thinking you were his type. That hairstyle has got to go.
Alex Rodriguez: Maybe you should give your cousin in the Dominican Republic a call…
Robinson Cano: Maybe you should conference call with A-Rod and his cousin…
Nick Swisher: Last I checked, you can’t hit the ball with your awesome attitude. So stop clowning around, and start getting some damn hits. I don’t care who you’re with or how awesome your hair is. Get some damn hits. Stop staying up late, talking to people on Twitter. Unless these people will hit home runs for you, GET SOME SLEEP!
Juan Miranda: You’re actually productive, but I have to roast you like I did the others. So… you make “DH” stand for “D*ck Head”.
Francisco Cervelli: Okay, that helmet was cute in Spring Training, but now you look like you should be licking short-bus windows. Need a towel to wipe the drool? Fasten your chin strap, Frankie! Stop hitting solid objects with your head, Frankie! Oy. We need a bigger helmet.
Randy Winn: You’re Randy Winn. 
David Robertson: So nice of you to join us. I’m so sorry that our little pesky baseball season interrupted your vacation from pitching. Obviously you were taking a break from it all in April, and half of May. The drunk, cross-dressing homeless man, who wanders around near my office building, could have pitched better than you in the first month-and-a-half of the season. I know you miss having Spring Break, but please try to do your job when you’re on the mound.
Chan Ho Park: I thought you got over your diarrhea weeks ago. Why are you still crapping your pants every time you step on the mound? It really stinks, Chopper. I’m not sure if something was “lost in translation” but, in America, when we say “give them sh*t”, we mean give them a hard time. We don’t mean “crap your pants and act like a drunken monkey flinging feces”. Actually, I’ve seen monkeys fling poo with more accuracy than your pitches. Get your sh*t right, Chan Ho. Chug a bottle of Pepto-Bismol before each game.
***
There, like Chan Ho Park’s lunch, that crap is out of my system. Now, I open the floor to you, my loyal readers. If you feel frustrated with the loss, and would like to roast some players, feel free to do so in my comments section underneath this blog post. THIS IS ALL FOR FUN! So don’t take it too seriously, and don’t be offended. We all love our Yankees.
If I get funny ones, I’ll publish them in tomorrow’s blog post.
Advertisements

Taste The Pie!

2010 Pretty In Pinstripes Challenge Tracker: Entry #38 – 5/17/10 – Red Sox @ Yankees



Box Score:
redsox @ Yankees 1.png



You have your good ol’ American Apple Pie…
800px-apple_pie.jpg
And then you have your good ol’ Yankees walk-off pie…
miranda.pie.jpg
Which one tastes sweeter? Yankees fans across the globe will agree that it’s the latter.
On a night where things didn’t look to be going the Yankees’ way, two swings of our bats turned this game from the worst loss of the season, to the best win of the season so far. Why? Because it was our first walk-off win of the year!
Oh, and it didn’t hurt that it happened against the Red Sox, and specifically off of Jonathan Papelbon.
After many walk-off wins last year, we’ve been feeling a little deprived in 2010. The Yankees have been off to a hot start, despite the injuries, so we have very little to complain about as fans. We have been feeling that something’s been missing, though. That something is: The Pie.
We’ve had many games on the road so far this season, so the opportunity for a walk-off hasn’t presented itself much. In this game, however, it did, and our bats took full advantage of it.
Phil Hughes had a bad start. I wouldn’t read too much into this performance if I were you, we all knew his ERA wouldn’t stay at 1.38 all season. Hughes has enough confidence in his abilities to bounce back from this. Hopefully our clutch hitting gave him a moral boost as well, and he will dominate in his next start.
Our bullpen was absolutely horrendous. I was horrified by what I saw today. Whether it was Boone Logan (I’m heartbroken about this) or Chan Ho Park, our pitching today blew it. Boone Logan at least managed to recover from the solo home run he gave up, and pitched a double-play ball, and fielded the grounder to end the inning. That doesn’t excuse the home run, but it somewhat makes it easier to swallow. Park, on the other hand, got himself into quite a mess (dare I say, he crapped his pants?) and needed Damaso Marte to save him. 
Park pitched well in the seventh inning, and kept his sheet clean. He came in to pitch in the eighth, and gave up three runs (two home runs) on four hits, without getting any outs. That wasn’t very pretty, because he also gave up the lead. Damaso Marte came in to keep the deficit at two runs, and recorded the three outs. Marte came back to pitch in the ninth inning, and got two outs, before Javier Vazquez was brought in for the final out.
Vazquez threw five pitches, recorded the final Boston out of the game, and actually received cheers from the crowd at Yankee Stadium. Ironically, that five-pitch strikeout was enough work from Javy to get him his first home win of the season.
After the messiness from every pitcher in this game not named “Javier Vazquez”, the Yankees needed heroics in the bottom of the ninth inning. We needed the Bombers to live up to their names, and give us the lifeline we need to secure a home win.
The Red Sox brought in their self-overrating closer, Jonathan Papelbon, to get the save. We brought in the heart of our lineup to the matchup.
Alex Rodriguez asks his haters: “How does my clutchness taste, b*tches?”
arod.jpg
In true Bronx Bombing fashion, Alex Rodriguez came through in the clutch, once again. Anyone who has been doubting A-Rod’s power, can kiss his pinstriped Dominican butt. 
With Brett Gardner on base (who has a perfect record against Jonathan Papelbon), Rodriquez dropped an A-Bomb on the Red Sox. He blasted a two-run home run to tie the game. At the very least, we were going into extra innings, so we were happy that we hadn’t lost the game. 
How many times has A-Rod come through in the clutch for us? I lost count. All I know is that I am thankful he’s a Yankee. I would hate to be the team that has to face him.
This clutch home run from Rodriguez can be added to the game-winning home run against the Twins. I think we can safely say that A-Rod’s slugging is back from its early hiatus. 
Alex Rodriguez was one of our two heroes on the night. We’re used to having him as our hero, so very few of us were surprised by his home run. We were ecstatic, and we were cheering like crazy, but it came as no surprise.
I don’t know about you, but our second hero was a huge surprise to me.
Marcus Thames asks: “Melky, who?”
Okay, I think we’ve pretty much disproved the insane claim by some fans, that we need Melky Cabrera to get walk-off wins. While Melky seemed to shine in the walk-off role last season, Marcus Thames is here to tell us that he can do that, too.
Marcus Thames hit a walk-off home run. Who would have guessed?
I most certainly did not predict this. In the seventh inning, I did predict that we would get a walk-off win off of Jonathan Papelbon (and my Twitter Faithful will confirm this). I never imagined that it would co
me off of the bat of Marcus Thames.
After Papelbon hit Cervelli with a pitch, and put him on base, Marcus Thames came up to the plate thinking “Oh no you di’iiiiiin’t!” and quickly made him pay. He connected with the very first pitch he saw from the Boston closer, and blasted it for a two-run home run.
Thames gave us our first walk-off home run of the year, and he got the first walk-off home run of his career.
pie_in_face_2.jpg
If we win our 28th World Series Championship this year, you know that this Marcus Thames home run will be in the 2010 highlights reel.




You can find Beeeebzy’s blog entries and more at 161st-and-River.com.


Giving Into The Hype

2010 Pretty In Pinstripes Challenge Tracker: Entry #3 – 4/7/10  Yankees @ Red Sox



So, we came out of the first series of the season victorious. That’s always a great feeling. I’ve become so accustomed to losing in April that winning a series gets me excited. Losing a series in April, however, doesn’t bother me. Again, I’m used to it.

It’s great to win any series at Fenway Park, even at the beginning of the season when it doesn’t really matter as much. I’m not going to claim the division based on this first series (I’m claiming it based on the fact that our roster rocks), but I did like what I saw yesterday.

Dandy Andy

Andy Pettitte was absolutely amazing. He continues to prove that he lives for these games. We’ve been hearing the phrase “This could be Pettitte’s final year” for the past three years. If it is, he’s off to a good start. 
There were doubts about Andy going into this game, because he didn’t have as many starts during spring training as our other pitchers. However, this is Andy Pettitte we’re talking about. He’s been doing his thing for long enough to know his abilities. He doesn’t need as many spring training starts anymore, it’s safe to say he’s got his mechanics all worked out. Spring training starts would have been better, but he doesn’t need them as much as others. He felt ready for this big start, the Yankees felt he was ready, and fans had all the faith in th
e world.
Andy Pettitte didn’t let us down. He had an amazing start.
Pettitte doesn’t crumble under pressure. While this is only the first series of a very long season, the reactions of Yankees fans after losing on Opening Night show the importance of a Yankees-Red Sox series. If there’s any pitcher who truly knows the significance of a game at Fenway Park, it’s Andy Pettitte. Lord knows he’s been pitching these games for long enough. 
Throughout the course of the season, this game won’t mean much statistically (especially since he didn’t get a decision), but a good performance at Fenway is still a good performance at Fenway. To the fans, and even the players, it means a lot. The Red Sox are our toughest opponents in the AL East, so why wouldn’t we want to get a win against them whenever we can? 
Andy stepped up and gave us that win. Sure, technically, the win wasn’t given to him, but his performance is the main reason we won. He even gave us a little fist pump to seal the deal.

The Grandyman Can

There has been a lot of speculation about the origin of that phrase. John Sterling started saying it, but I’ve heard quite a few people, including myself, say it before it was broadcast on WCBS radio. I most certainly did not come up with it. I would love to take credit, but alas, I stole it off of someone else. Whoever came up with it is a genius. I love it. The Grandyman Can.
The Grandyman can certainly show Jonathan Papelbon why no lead or tie is safe when he’s facing the Yankees. That’s what he did yesterday with that solo home run off of the Red Sox closer. What a way for Curtis Granderson to introduce himself to the Yankees fanbase. First, a home run in his first regular season at-bat as a Yankee, and then the series-winning home run in the 9th inning. We scored one more run after that, but the solo shot was the decider.
I can’t think of a better way for a new hitter to introduce himself and say “I am a Yankee”. After that performance, Grandyman, you most certainly are. 
Everybody Loves Jeter
Kevin Youkilis was hit by a wild pitch from Andy Pettitte. Personally, I think he’s asking for it with that stance of his. Forget about the comic nature of his batting stance for a second; the location of his body in relation to the plate just screams “hit me”. He crowds the plate, and when you crowd the plate, you’re going to get hit. At least he didn’t complain about it or charge the mound this time. Although, I would have liked to see him do that with Andy pitching.
Later on in the game, Derek Jeter got hit by a pitch. Jeter also crowds the plate in his at-bats, but there’s nothing comic about his stance. After being hit, our Captain jogged to first base. As he was about to tag, Kevin Youkilis said something jokingly, and Jeter good-naturedly shoved him away. Youkilis and Jeter continued to joke around and seemingly poke fun at each other for a short while. 
I enjoyed seeing that, even though I really can’t stomach Youkilis. To me, it showed that everybody loves Jeter. Leaving the rivalry and animosity between the Yankees and Red Sox aside, every single player in Boston respects Derek Jeter. If it were A-Rod that got hit, I imagine Youkilis would have either stayed quiet, or said something ill-natured. Either way he wouldn’t have joked around with him. Why? Because Alex Rodriguez isn’t Derek Jeter. Time has shown us that Alex Rodriguez just isn’t as respected by his opponents. Some would say that A-Rod brings the hate on himself, and to a certain extent, I tend to agree. Derek Jeter, however, is a player who has never carried himself with anything but class and, as a result, is respected by all of Major League Baseball. No matter how big the game is, or how fierce the rivalry may be, no one who truly loves baseball hates Derek Jeter.
Jeter demands respect with his actions, on the field and off. This was shown by Youkilis laughing and joking around with him in a tight situation, a situation in which having Jeter on base could pose a threat. Why? Because everybody loves Derek Jeter. Sure, the fans at Fenway may boo him, but even in an organization that is known for blasting the players of other teams, you will not find a single member of the Red Sox organization who doesn’t think highly of Derek Jeter. 
The lightheartedness of the exchange between Youkilis and Jeter is further testament to Derek Jeter’s likability in the sport. It is further proof that Jeter will always be The Perfect Yankee. The only other Yankee who is currently respected by all of baseball is Mariano Rivera. Jeter and Mo get respect and love because they have always carried themselves with dignity. Day after day, and game after game, this is proven to be true. Yesterday was yet another example of everybody loving Derek Jeter.
Hero Of The Night

In my opinion, Chan Ho Park was the hero of the game.
Chapeau bas to Joe Girardi for sitting on his hands and leaving Park in there for three innings, facing both lefty and righty hitters. For once, Girardi put the stat-book down, and went with his gut feeling. Chan Ho looked great in his first inning of work, so the skipper’s instinct was to leave him in there. I love that. It’s that very instinct that separates good managers from great ones.
I am often Joe Girardi’s biggest critic. I don’t particularly enjoy seeing the way he manages the bullpen at times, and I don’t agree with his decision to leave Boone Logan, a second bullpen lefty, off of the roster. However, when Girardi gets it right, I have to tip my hat to him. 
Yesterday, he got it right. Boy, did he get it right. It took big cojones to leave Park in there, especially for a third inning. I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t have had the guts to leave Chan Ho in there for the ninth. I had faith in Park, but even I was nervous about him pitching in the ninth inning.
Girardi, however, had the guts to do it, and got it right. Yankees fans are happy that he left Park on the mound for three innings. Although, I’m sure if Chan Ho had given up a walk-off run, even after pitching two perfect innings, the reactions would have been completely different. 
Chan Ho Park didn’t give up a walkoff run, though, or any runs for that matter. He absolutely shined during his amazing three innings of relief work. In fact, he only gave up one hit, and no walks. He faced the entire Red Sox starting lineup, the second-toughest lineup in our division, and they couldn’t touch him. 
Coming back on the mound, after his shaky inning in Sunday’s game, couldn’t have been easy for Park. A lot of pressure comes with putting on a Yankees uniform, and the regular season stage doesn’t get much bigger than a Yankees-Red Sox series. Chan Ho shaking off a bad performance in the series opener, and pitching beautifully through three innings in the closer, shows that he has “the goods”, both mentally and physically. 
Chan Ho Park pitched wonderfully. He silenced the doubts, and showed us his upside. We now know for certain what Park is capable of, from here on out it’s up to him to keep showing us his domination.
There’s something I wasn’t aware of until ESPN broadcasters mentioned it. Chan Ho Park is the first Korean player in Yankees history. Isn’t that crazy? We’ve had players from all over the world throughout our history, but Park is the very first Korean. I enjoyed hearing that little piece of information, because it shows that baseball is becoming a more global sport every year.
Had the game been played at Yankee Stadium, Chan Ho Park would have surely received a standing ovation from the crowd after yesterday’s performance. He most certainly deserved it, and I stood up and applauded him, in my living room.
Giving Into The Hype

I know that, statistically, this series doesn’t mean much. The Red Sox beat us 8 times in a row at the beginning of last season, and it didn’t mean anything in the end. It’s only the first series of the season, and all it means is that we’re off to a good start. It doesn’t mean that we’ve won our division, it doesn’t mean that we’re going to win every series this year, and it doesn’t mean that we’ll finish the season ahead of the Red Sox. The first series of the season is just that; the first series.
That’s what my head told me, but my heart begged to differ. 
Didn’t this first series against Boston feel completely different from last year’s opening series against Baltimore? Maybe I am getting too into the overhyped rivalry between us and the Red Sox but, my God, starting off the season winning at Fenway really feels good. I feels damn good. Especially after the Red Sox pulled out all the stops on Opening Night.
Like I said, winning any series at Fenway Park is a big deal, be it in April or September. Not only is there a “rivalry” between the two teams, but the Red Sox are the Yankees’ main competition in the AL East. The Rays are pretty good, but I don’t see them finishing above the Red Sox, not this year. So, winning the series against Boston is one less difficult series we’ll have to worry about. Not to mention it’s always fun to see Red Sox fans upset.
During yesterday’s game, I was sitting on the edge of my seat the whole time, nervously following every pitch. My heart stopped approximately 438,725,268 times during the ten innings. Yes, it’s only April and, yes, losing this series wouldn’t have meant much, but every Yankees-Red Sox matchup has the feel of October for me. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m buying into the media hype. Who knows? All I know is that I was watching yesterday’s game with the nerves I normally have in the postseason. At one point (I believe it was while Park was pitching in the ninth) I had my hands over my eyes, and I was peeking through my fingers.
I love the intensity. I love the emotion. I love the feeling of living and dying with every pitch. I absolutely love it. Only baseball can make me feel this way. I missed this all winter, and opening the season facing the Red Sox threw me right into the deep end of the intensity.
I absolutely loved every moment.
Welcome back, baseball. Don’t you ever leave me again.



You can find Beeeebzy’s blog entries and more at 161st-and-River.com

Chan Ho in the Park

So the Yankees sign Chan Ho Park. That’s nice.

Where did that come from? I live in Dubai, so baseball news gets to me a little late, but this caught me by surprise. I had no idea the Yankees were even interested in Chan Ho Park. Apparently Chan Ho made the announcement from South Korea that he chose the Yankees over the Cubs. *He’s even farther away than I am!*
Anyway, it seems like a good deal to me: 1 year, $1.2million with another $300,000 in incentives for a decent middle-reliever. 
What does this mean for our 2010 bullpen? It means that the other righties fighting for a spot in our bullpen will be watching the start of the season from AAA. 
The Great Mariano, Joba or Hughes, Robertson, Marte, Aceves and Logan are surely in the bullpen to start off the season. *Other than Boone Logan, who’s our realistic option for a second lefty? Kei Igawa? Oy vey.* This leaves one spot open for a reliever. Before today, it looked like that last spot would be  fought over by Mitre, Gaudin, Edwar and Albaladejo. *Try saying Albaladejo after a few shots of tequila – not pretty.* 
Now, with the signing of Chan Ho Park, those guys can kiss the Yankees bullpen goodbye, at least for the start of the season.
In my opinion, Edwar Ramirez and Jonathan Albaladejo were long shots to start off the season anyway. Sergio Mitre and Chad Gaudin, on the other hand, were not. It seemed as though one of them was bound to make the roster, which worried me. I’m not exactly a fan of either. 
So, at the end of the day, $1.5million (at most) got us a decent reliever, and gave us the luxury of not depending on Mitre/Gaudin. I’m happy.
Chan Ho Park had a rough time in New York a few years ago when he was with the Mets, pitching just 4 innings (as a starter) before being sent down to the minors. He didn’t pitch in relief, so the transition into the bullpen was bound to get a little messy. He was given the opportunity to work that out in AAA. In 2008 and 2009, however, he became a reliever and returned to good form. 
With our other options in the bullpen, Chan Ho Park is a good fit. He sure as Hell came at a good price. He turned down offers worth more than double what we’re paying for him. This shows that he is an intelligent man, and wants to play for a team that actually has a shot at winning the World Series. *cough* Unlike Damon *cough*

Welcome back to New York, Chan Ho. This time you’re in the right part of town.